Monday, March 26, 2012

letter to my 12 year old self

Dear 12 year old self,

hi baby! i know there is so much that you are dealing with right now and i want to remind you that you are loved, regardless of what is going on right now and will happen in the next few years. hold on to those that you know love you in the months to come. forgive those that you know love you, but will hurt you soon- its so much harder to do years down the road.

there's a few specifics i have to make sure you know:
-don't cut your hair. into bangs, all around- nothing (barring trims). it wont end well.
-magic isn't dying anytime soon, so you can stop crying. but take the lesson from it & make your life easier- "love" isn't an excuse for forgoing the condom
-that small/medium/large thing? its bullshit. you'll know it, but it will be hard to accept.
-6 weeks may seem like a long time to be hidden from the world, but this will be the time that your relationship with your siblings will become the strongest. enjoy it, they will always be there, but wont always be right there. i know you think its stupid and don't feel like you're in danger, but that time probably saved your life.
-practice. always. even when you don't want to- in sports, in school, in writing, in anything that gets hard. i know a lot comes easy and its more comfortable to skate on just that, but if you want to excel it will take work. put it in.
-your looks will bring you attention- you don't have to take all of it. don't forget your body isn't an effective collateral to keep it and being destructive towards it isn't an effective punishment.
-your mothers mistakes don't undercut her love for you. be clear in your objections, solicit help and keep your reactions as calm possible. it will end.
-college isn't an option for later. when you get there, do everything.
-when you get on your own, you can do anything you like. that doesn't give you license to do so.

you'll make it, baby.

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