Sunday, November 20, 2011

"I have cancer."

I've spent the last few days wrapping my head around hearing those words from...well.... I don't quite know what to call him and therein lies my trouble in processing them.

As of today, I'm calm. I've delivered that news to the people that need it, even though he was too selfish or scared to do so and I've had time to get over the initial shock. What I'm going to do with that information, I'm not sure. But to know I have a chance to make my own decision about it instead of just getting word of his death is comforting.

I'm sure I'll write more as this situation progresses- Both about my inner struggle with what my role should be marches on and what I perceive his health status to be. But right now I just want to have a chance to sit with it quietly. Maybe if I shut up for once, I'll actually be able to hear God tell me how to let him go this time.

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