Sunday, August 14, 2011

wow.

Well.

Tonight was interesting. I needed a release, I needed that smile that only comes from the time you get from laughing with friends. So instead of spending another saturday chained to work until midnight- I went to get what I needed.

One problem- it ended in screaming.

Those that know me know my reaction to bullshit is silence. You can't argue with emotion. Let it happen- sort it out later. But there is a limit- and when I reached mine, I held on and let someone cross it. Maybe it was respect for those around us. Maybe it was that I was waiting to see if I was the only one dumbfounded. Maybe I'm just old... But whatever I reason, I sat there and attempted peacemaker while someone verbally spit in my face for the sake of not letting something stupid escalate anymore.

Funny thing, the bullshit wasn't even with someone I consider close. We see each other socially, we're cool, we laugh- but not someone I'm calling to talk, ya know? So I'm not even emotionally invested enough to give a damn about an argument. Yeah, I'm 38 hot about you yelling like a banshee and justifying it with 'you know I'm loud, you should deal with it'... and I would have loved to quieted that down for you- but tomorrow- fuck it. I've got bigger things to occupy my mind.

What's really eating me is that through the whole thing- Not one person in the room would look me in my eye.

Its small, its stupid. But there are people that read this blog that know what that (and the lack of it) means to ME.


Amazing how worthless remaining calm can be.