Tuesday, June 7, 2011

letter to someone you have drifted away from

Dear Old Friend,

I hope this letter finds you well. I've always wanted to say that- and I'm sure you would give me that, as you know I'm ridiculous by nature.

Anyway, our 'drift' was a good thing, I think. Necessary at the very least. While we had been regular fixtures in each others lives for quite a while, we both had growing to do and it wasn't going to happen the way things were.

Part of me wishes I had sat you down and not moved until you heard me about a few things- namely your regular refusal to 'hear' anyone on any subject if it didn't involve them wholeheartedly agreeing with you or co-signing whatever anecdote you felt fit the situation. But then I realize that saying anything at that time would have been about me & my frustration and not about being honest with a friend. In the long term, I'm glad I didn't. All the things I wanted to say had been building for a long time and using the start of that drift as an opportunity to say what I didn't want to deal with saying/ dealing with your reaction to before was selfish. You deserved my honesty in the moment. Maybe if I had, it wouldn't be so difficult for you to hear people and my initial issue would have been solved in the process lol. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

I don't know if we will continue to drift or one day will make more lifetime memories, but my hope for you is that you grow more accepting of others falls and stop hiding your own. Friends don't need you to be perfect, they need you to be present- be that spiritually, mentally, emotionally or physically. Let people do the same for you.

As for me, my hope is I will not make the same mistake in not staying honest in the moment with those near to be. It was incredibly unfair of me & I apologize. Please know that whatever I did/ did not tell you does not change my feeling that your friendship was/ is valued. This letter is simply what I wish we would have done differently.

I wish you well always.
~j

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