Wednesday, June 1, 2011

letter to a person i would like to meet

Dear person I would like to meet,

Yeah, I'm late in posting this to you. I understand this is the wrong way to start an introduction- but I wanted to make sure I chose the right person. As I thought through the standard folks, the famous faces that I know I could charm into helping a chick out with some bills and such (I may be perceived as mean at times, but I'm pretty good at turning it on when need be lol), no one that came to mind really pulled at me to be chosen. Sure, I would love to ask Oprah for a hook up. Or Michelle Obama for a job. Maybe to get David Banner to impregnate me (shut up, you know I have issues)- it all seemed superficial. None of those introductions would give me any peace, touch me in the deepest part of my emotional center...and then I thought of you.

While I did meet you as an infant and again briefly as a teenager, I would like the opportunity to have an honest conversation with you as a woman. As someone who wants to be a mother & fears you influence in those children's lives. While this may seem to others to be an act of emotional cutting- I think I need it.

I want to know what happened in your life before you had children. I want to know how you came to be a mother of eight?What did you miss in your life that shaped how you interacted with, loved and related to those children? Did you see signs in what they would grow into when they were young? Did you even care once they did grow? Do you now? And finally, why did you let that interfere with your relationship with me?

Understand, I'm not asking this to chastise or judge you, nor do I need these answers to live a blessed life. I'm not inquiring because 'she' told me lies. I'm asking because I was largely told nothing, and what I got from you added up to less than that. I simply would like to know why. While meeting you again may never give me that, I would like the chance to at least ask.

Maybe one day, you'll share. Maybe some questions aren't meant to be answered. Who knows? *shrug*

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