Monday, May 23, 2011

letter to your best friend

dear best friend,

i sat wondering who i would be able to write this to, as i cant really count anyone as my true "best friend". i trust different people for different reasons and i don't value anyone that i call a true friend over another. maybe that's a factor of my lack of trust, but i think its more about utilizing strengths and accepting flaws in the people i love and myself. so, this letter will be to quite a few people. i hope those that it applies to are able to see themselves reflected in it.
you are the only person that knows the things of which i am most ashamed and you have never judged me for it. even when i'm very sure i crossed a line due to my selfish nature and probably made you uncomfortable, if not hurt- you still want the best for me. i wish our relationship was closer day to day like it used to be, but lives are what they are and i am proud of the direction yours has taken- as a parent, a business person and human being.
i thank you for always being the voice of reason and positive reinforcement. i know i must drive you nuts with my random self diagnosis of crazy as well as my ability to be preoccupied with figuring everyone else out but myself. i will cross with you in 2012, i promise for real this time.
and finally, you understand my love of research and how it can be beneficial for everyone. i love you for that. you recognize when i cant and don't chastise or push, then turn around and recognize when i can and push until i realize it too.
you are invaluable to be and i don't know how i could live in this mind without you. thank you for all that you bring to my life.
~j

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