Friday, May 27, 2011

letter to my dreams

Dear dreams,
I'm a little upset with myself, as I had plans on writing a beautifully crafted masterpiece detailing both my love of how vivid you are and that my hate at how many times I've had deja vu because of you. However, I'm currently writing this from my phone while working another 8- midnight shift, so my focus has shifted to a much darker place. So instead of this being an ode to the intricate thoughts of my subconscious, it shall be statement on my current life circumstances.

So... My dreams.

I'm so sorry that you have been crushed against the harsh realities of this job. I sold my soul to the devil instead of following you and finishing college like regular people. I let the draw of easy money at a young age cloud my judgment and let me forget that nothing lasts forever. Now I am stuck in chicken head central, making pennies compared to what I've become accustomed to, trying to finish school before I jump out the sealed first floor window of my office to a slow death via the sure to follow staph infection I will get from my skinned knee..

Dreams, I love you, but you seem so far away. I'm hanging in there. I know nothing worth having happens overnight & that I'm in this position because I didn't act responsibly with the blessings I was given. I do appreciate the vast shoe collection this job allowed me to amass and that I was able to have enough to the side to last this long. Just don't forsake me, dreams. I'm coming for you. Just hold on a little longer. I promise to not fall victim to the raggedy weaves, missing teeth and slanted, leaning heels of my current predicament. When I finally do get to you, I will hold on for dear life and use you to make even greater dreams. And when I get there and you look at me and say "Now where do we go?", I will smile back and say "All the way to the top, if you aint scared. You just have to trust me baby!"

Love always,
~j

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