Friday, September 4, 2009

guilty until proven innocent

Tell me where did you go when you left the club last night
What streets did you travel? Where did you sleep?
Were you telling the truth when you said it was just your boys with you?
All these questions, never to be asked or answered
I don’t have to, because I can just follow you if I don’t think you’re true
Guilty until proven innocent- just like every other cheating bastard

Tell me who did you call in the wee hours of the morning
What is she to you? Does she know you intimately?
Are you telling the truth when you say that’s your cousin
All these questions, never to be asked or answered
I don’t have to; I have your online bill login
Guilty until proven innocent- and I have your voicemail password

Tell me why doe your clothes smell of Paris Hilton perfume?
Is that what she smells like? Does she work it better than me?
Is it true that my cousin saw you bring her flowers at her job yesterday?
All these question, never asked or answered
I don’t have to; I have spies in every company –all I have to say
Guilty until proven innocent, they can get any information if I just say the word

Tell me what your plans are for the future- for you and me
Do you love me? Is this going somewhere?
Is it true that you are faithful and will be there forever and always?
All these questions never asked or answered
I don’t have to; I have bleach for your clothes when I can’t keep my jealousy at bay
Guilty until proven innocent, I’ll just stab you and plead insanity- yes, that’s my word.

Tell me are you going to take me home tonight and never call
Was it love at first sight? Am I just your jump off?
Is it true that men won’t buy the cow if they can get the milk for free?
All these questions, never to be asked or answered
I don’t have to, I’ll just call your girl when I find out I’m part of a party of three
Guilty until proven innocent, I operate in spite when perturbed.

Tell me will you act right after I bust the windows out your car?
Never hit back when I slap you? Jimmy the locks when I change them?
Is it true you’ll still love me after I curse your mama out and your girl cousins jump me?
All these questions, never to be asked or answered
I don’t have to, I’ll slice your leather seats, then wait and see
Guilty until proven innocent, I have the Dr. Jekyll/ms Hyde game mastered.

Tell me, will you still love me when I tell you to walk away
Understand I mean hold me? Promise to never let me go
Is it true you can understand me enough to love me until I let go of my issues
All these questions, never asked or answered
I don’t have to, I’m too scared of the answer, scared I will miss you
Guilty until proven innocent, so afraid to let go- not realizing I’m making you leave faster.

The “I” in this piece is figurative. Please don’t ask me tomorrow who I stabbed- I never have been violent with anyone lol. I can tell you that everything in this piece has happened and involved a friend, a friend’s cousin, a relative’s baby mama- someone I know. Why did I write this? Well, I was asked recently “What happened that makes you so scared to date me?” and I had to really think about it… the only answer I can come to is that I’m not over things that have happened in past relationships & I am terrified that the next time I wont take the high road, I wont act like a lady. I have watched women hold in their pain for so long and then let it out in the craziest ways that I want to make sure I’m securely in the ‘over it’ column before I attempt anything new.
In short, this is my warning, if you will, to the men I know… the line between love and hate IS thinner than you realize. And while that doesn’t give women license to go buck- you do need to understand when a woman tells you she needs time – there is a reason; and when she tells you she’s had enough- there is a storm brewing. Like I said- everything in here is true and that woman you thought was so sweet knows 100 times more than you give her credit for even if she has never asked you for the information.

© jasmîne gabrielle

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