Monday, December 8, 2008

walmart on the weekend

see now, you wonder why i got to walmart at three am on a tuesday? this is why: the weekends are just too much for me.. how how in da hell..........

~are you going to be up in there on a sunday at four in the afternoon in december when it is 17 degrees outside with some strappy stillettos, a cocktail dress, a rag on your head and a bubble coat? now i KNOW you didnt wear that to church, and its DEF not wedding wear- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!?!

~now i know lil ray-ray and his five year old self is just as cute as he wanna be- and i know he likes pushng the cart and whatnot.. but seriously, this place is packed and i stay getting stuck behind him chillin in the middle of EVERY aisle. get your child, please.

~how are you going to postion your cart at the end of the the aisle, blocking anyone from coming in or out, with your grandbabies at your side (and they are actually aware of people around them and trying to stay out of the way like they have good sense) then post up in that spot to yell at THEM for blocking the flow of traffic? its YOUR simple behind that mysteriously forgot how to handle a shopping cart. shut your yapper and move them feets!

~did you really load up two carts over capacity and get to the front of the line and suddenly realize you dont have your EBT card (honest mistake, BUT...) then actually argue with the cashier because they wont let you take the groceries to the car and bring your card back in? yes, seriously- this was a 5-6 minute conversation in the next line over... people never cease to amaze me.

~are there four colors of weave in your head? FOUR?! jet black, ruby red, honey brown and platinum blonde- REALLY?! all wrapped up in microbraids?! i'ma need whoever did that to your head to be slapped! three times if you did it yourself.. smh

~umm.. isnt that your girl in the next aisle? so help me understand why my booty is even something that needs a comment from you? and you really just said "oh her, yeah, thats my girl but i'm tryin to see whats up with you" *blank stare* yeah, because my entire goal in life is to be the side chick for a snaggle tooth midget with no game. thank you sir.

i'm back to vampire hours for shopping folks..

No comments:

Post a Comment