Sunday, December 21, 2008

winter blues

ok, now i know that i made a promise to self to stay da HELL out my blog until i could come in here with something positive to contribute to the world... how-mfing-ever... i just have to purge right quick, so later for all that....

well, i'm still on my 'get it together' kick and i must say, its going quite well..ive been quiet about it because no one want to hear about what you 'gonna' do.. so, i will stay off of that topic aside from saying: its a work in progress and progress is happening.

now onto the 'blues' part of the day....well its not all blues, but some of it had to be said

~starting off on a good note: i miss being a kid! even if it was only for a little while today and the snow wasnt cooperating with being snowballed- i had a good time. round two is tomorrow and i hope to get it poppin for real for real then...

~ITS COLD LIKE WHOA.. and i dont understand how i live in a city at 43N latitude and they want to act like snow removal is not in the budget. thats not cute, traction control or not

~now i am working on my penchance for being a touch 'attitudinal' regarding certian behavior, but people seem hell bent to not leave me in my "young ron yee cho" sense of calm. now you know my shoes are like children to me. dont bother them, and i wont bother you... so why.. WHY? did this man just pick up my shoe and play like he was nuttin all over it- sound effects and all? really? REALLY? see... people get bodied for less and your nasty ass really tryin my patience. then want to look at me like "i was just playin" FIRST OF ALL.. you dont play with my shoes SECOND.. sound effects like you are having a mastabatory expirence are NOT at all considered playing my book. drop my knee length, quilted back, tread enfused black leather boot before i am forced to call the ex that i dont want to call over your bullshit, but i will over my fuckin shoe. your ass didnt want to play like that when he was around, dont think that you can play with me like that now, you nasty bastard. now you done made me take it back to "they STILL gonna fuck you up" like this is poetic justice.
bitch bastards...

~why tracey morgan like 4'3''? i know, i know.. all the 'celebs' are short, but damn it man- my nipple is on your forehead. and while we on body parts.. are you like, 40 and in the club with your dress exposing not just the cuff- but your WHOLE ass?! and for tracey morgan? i'ma need you to get your i'm too old to be a groupie life together expiditiously. and knock off coogi is NOT whats hot in the streets

~ok, ok sexual chocolate with the arms like 'whoa' (yes, that is what i call him and i refuse to refer to him as anything else lol) you, my dear sweet man are going to need to keep drinking henny like its water. because as long as you do, i'm more than capable of maintaining good girl status with little effort because that henny smell is arghh. thank you for leaving the listerine in the car and no, you cant have any gum. you still sexy though LOL

~now you know i will not change my number due to family reasons, but damn it, some days, i have to wonder if that is really in my best interests... did i really get a text message from a dude i was dating (read: DATING, not sleeping with) prior to the last TWO exs at 1am asking me if i wanted company after the club? really? seriously? you hit the number for the wrong one, patna. even if the nana WAS taking applications, you couldnt even get an interview with that mess.. keep it pushin, pimpin.

ok, i'm going to take my "1 apple martini, 2 glasses of wine, 2 glasses of sangria and 7 jello shots and STILL not feelin a got damn thing because of the fuckkery that is DA ROC" behind to sleep... holla on the flip side


Monday, December 8, 2008

walmart on the weekend

see now, you wonder why i got to walmart at three am on a tuesday? this is why: the weekends are just too much for me.. how how in da hell..........

~are you going to be up in there on a sunday at four in the afternoon in december when it is 17 degrees outside with some strappy stillettos, a cocktail dress, a rag on your head and a bubble coat? now i KNOW you didnt wear that to church, and its DEF not wedding wear- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!?!

~now i know lil ray-ray and his five year old self is just as cute as he wanna be- and i know he likes pushng the cart and whatnot.. but seriously, this place is packed and i stay getting stuck behind him chillin in the middle of EVERY aisle. get your child, please.

~how are you going to postion your cart at the end of the the aisle, blocking anyone from coming in or out, with your grandbabies at your side (and they are actually aware of people around them and trying to stay out of the way like they have good sense) then post up in that spot to yell at THEM for blocking the flow of traffic? its YOUR simple behind that mysteriously forgot how to handle a shopping cart. shut your yapper and move them feets!

~did you really load up two carts over capacity and get to the front of the line and suddenly realize you dont have your EBT card (honest mistake, BUT...) then actually argue with the cashier because they wont let you take the groceries to the car and bring your card back in? yes, seriously- this was a 5-6 minute conversation in the next line over... people never cease to amaze me.

~are there four colors of weave in your head? FOUR?! jet black, ruby red, honey brown and platinum blonde- REALLY?! all wrapped up in microbraids?! i'ma need whoever did that to your head to be slapped! three times if you did it yourself.. smh

~umm.. isnt that your girl in the next aisle? so help me understand why my booty is even something that needs a comment from you? and you really just said "oh her, yeah, thats my girl but i'm tryin to see whats up with you" *blank stare* yeah, because my entire goal in life is to be the side chick for a snaggle tooth midget with no game. thank you sir.

i'm back to vampire hours for shopping folks..

Saturday, December 6, 2008

voice of the 529

*now playing: numba 1 (tide is high) by kardinal offishall

(dont want to lose you from the start)

I'm Mr. Kardinal, voice to the people
Black Jays family, verses arevlethal
I dont have time for the play play
She a good chick yo but I'm married to the game
Married to the fame
Related to the paper
Tryin to get my name put up on a skyscraper

so.... its like that??

the only question i have for you: if your word is your bond and your bond is only as strong as post-it note glue, why bother with empty declarations? just do you and i'll cheer from the sidelines..ok, maybe the stands... well, i'll at least catch it on sportcenter and THAT is a promise you can actually count on..