Tuesday, May 16, 2006

dear john letter..

On that day long ago when the most beautiful sound of your voice touched me
Opened my eyes to a new world for me to behold, to touch, and to see
All my senses opened up when I first came to know you
Knowing that all you had to offer, to your variety I would forever be true
I missed the first says of your true essence
But felt blessed to even partake in the a fraction of your presence
From your beginnings in the boroughs of strife I listened
The beat of your heart gave the blind true vision
In the land of milk and honey, you knew how to con
At the same time, preaching to all who would listen about self destruction
You were my schizophrenic lover, my king of Babylon
Then the ladies came and to our love affair added a new level on
Touting boulders to roll off of shoulders and U.N.I.T.Y
See most women would be jealous, but I knew there was a million, all just as lucky as me

Even when you left me to express with your full capabilities
I never batted an eye, just reveled in your ever changing face, relished the mysteries
I felt you when you told me it wasnt easy makin a dolla outta fifteen cents
And soon realized that wherever you decided to go, that for me would be whats next
I stayed and loved you through two murders and numerous beefs
You beat all the charges though and came back to me through swizz beats
All the time, I being what you asked, the Bonnie to your Clyde
But you just told me Im nobody till somebody kills me and I died inside
I kept my diamonds shinin, tried to look fine, yet and still I was just little and lost
But still I would die for you, even if giving my shimmy shimmy raw was the cost
I loved you when you called me a bitch and let your pearl handle 22 replace me
Patiently waiting for your days of union with the pretty boy singers to offer an apology

I watched in horror as my love for you became less important than the money
The credit only validated my apple bottom; my years of support suddenly became funny
What was in your mouth became a greater value than the years I followed you faithfully
I bounced, bounced, bounced my ass like the hoe you wanted though I didnt agree
Even came to the club to show that you were all I needed to get by
I asked why the hottest shit be selling the least, and not even you could make the song cry
Thats it, capitalism produced the take-hova and living with regrets is a distant memory
You told me once you used to love H.E.R. and I thought she was a fool to leave you
But she saw the direction you were taking her and the motives you held were so see thru
I took the time to find her, hoping that through her you would see the light
You were busy with them other hoes in them other area codes and just hoped your flight
I love you but I cant breathe in a world that headed for self destruction on a black card
Ill be gone for more than November; I lost the fight, though I fought hard
Just know that before I leave you, I loved you, the Message was never lost
But the decision to go commercial was the last of the illmatic, and the essence that defined you was the cost